Spam Fried Rice
What goes in fried rice with Spam?
Tell me, tell me, Ann-I-Am!
First you start with day old rice
‘Cause fresh made rice is not so nice
Fresh made rice -- so wet, it sticks
It turns rice into rice bricks
Put that rice back in the fridge
To chill and dry, just a smidge
Lots of garlic cloves to chop
Enough to make a vampire drop!
And what’s fried rice without the eggs?
T’would be a footstool sans two legs
And then, of course, we have the Spam
Mystery meat cube in a can
What goes in a can of Spam?
Hormel says it’s just SPiced hAM
To know the truth would be quite neat
I just say, “Some Parts Are Meat.”
So, plop that block of Spam, kerplunk
And cut it into bite-sized chunks
Everything else is up to you:
Cut-up fish balls, peeled shrimp too
Couple cups of frozen veg
Any leftovers you can dredge
Up from the freezer. You might stumble
On something fun for this jumble
Shrimp, Fish Balls, Spam, Frozen Mixed Vegetables, Garlic, Eggs, Rice
Once we’ve got the fried rice charted
Now let’s get this party started!
First, heat oil in a pan
Beat three eggs and drop them in
Scramble up until they’re fried
Take them out and set aside
Frying Eggs For Spam Fried Rice
Garlic next. Fry it well
Pungent, fragrant is the smell
Spam’s the next one to go down
Fry it until it gets browned
Add the fish balls and the shrimp
Frozen veggies (not yet limp)
Frying Spam, Fish Balls, Shrimp and Veggies For Spam Fried Rice
Toss and fry, mix and churn
Move it ‘round, don’t let it burn
Until the shrimp becomes opaque
Don’t overcook, for goodness’ sake!
Fry Shrimp Until Opaque
And now, the rice. Just dump it down
Break it up and spread it ‘round
Drizzle soy and oyster sauce
Just how much? Hey, you’re the boss
Don’t forget: Spam is salty
Too much sauce would be faulty
So we say, season to taste
Make good food, not food waste
Toss that rice! Mix it in!
Clumps of rice would be a sin
You will get, if you mix it right,
A little something in each bite
Finally, add the eggs back on
Last ingredient, then you’re done
Stomach growling; time to sup
C’mon and plate this fried rice up!
Adding Fried Eggs Back to Spam Fried Rice
So there you have it: Spam Fried Rice
Tell us, Readers, but be nice
Would you eat fried rice with Spam?